Life of a famous bunny
Fiction in English

Life of a Famous Bunny (a theater monologue)

An anxious (and famous) bunny lying on a sofa, facing the audience. It is speaking to someone, but we don’t see that someone.

It’s a family thing, you know.
My father really had it.
The whole joyful jumping with a basket… He even made his moustache twirl a little. SO perfect. It’s disgusting.
My big sister had it too. And when I say big, I don’t necessarily mean older
Let’s just say that she liked to taste the eggs before hiding them.

[pauses] And I have to say, it’s getting harder every year. [pauses again while munching nervously a carrot]

[suddenly starting to fall apart] You know how children picture me?
I’ve seen the drawings, you know! BLUE! OR PINK!
They think I’m a PINK bunny, come on, seriously?

[one of its feet is getting restless, like rabbits do] I tell you, I don’t stand the competition anymore.
Do you know how many songs they made about Santa?
Do you know just one song about bunnies? What, I don’t deserve a song?

[not quite an evil laugh, but a creepy one] Sometimes I hide the eggs a little bit too high, just to watch them struggling to reach it.

[pauses, pulling itself together a bit] That’s settled, next year, I will just drop the chocolate eggs under their pillows – like the Tooth Fairy does – and go to Amsterdam for a vacation.
I heard they have good ca… carrots there.

©Claire Emery/Claire Faugeroux.

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